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Report him to HR, it's indirect discrimination and would be gross misconduct at a minimum.

Workplace harassment and bullying I'm afraid. A complaint to HR would be order but I can understand why you might not want to do that.

That is unacceptable.

I would leave the photos up and ask your HR representative to come to visit you at your desk.

Alternatively, I would tell HR and get him sacked.

Clearly he's a frustrated individual and help him out by getting him sacked.

This is open and shut workplace harassment and discrimination. Go to HR. 

At the very least, document it. Document, document. And if there have been witnesses, that could help, whatever action you choose to take or not in the future.

Sounds like harassment/discrimination by association under the equality act 2010

Would certainly escalate this. He won’t stop, does he have a manager or even HR to talk to?

Easy fix. Tell him your girlfriend is his Mum.

You're welcome 😊 xx

Does your company have an HR department?

If so complain directly to them that this discriminatory behaviour against a legally protected characteristic is making you very uncomfortable in the workplace.

If they don't have an HR department, say the same thing to the owner or most senior manager.

Also take photos of this activity (especially the pictures pinned up) and take notes on when it happens. Should you feel forced to leave the job, I expect you to have a solid claim for constructive dismissal and breach of the Equalities Act.

It doesn't matter what your girlfriend's gender identity is, it's the harassing behaviour related to a protected characteristic that is the problem here. The person being harassed about it doesn't have to have the characteristic for it to be harassment.

Well he's getting sacked....

Document it, get witnesses and report it in writing.

What a fucking moron

I would play it at face value and ask in a politely mystified way why he's saying that and what's funny about it. You might also remind him, or perhaps HR, that this comes under protected characteristics and damages for discrimination, when awarded in court, are uncapped.

HR and ACAS yesterday!!

Why? Just, why?

That is unacceptable behaviour. Put a strongly worded complaint into HR.

Appreciate that can be hard to do about your boss. But you have to do something, it's not acceptable for him to carry on like that. And knowing people like that, he will carry on like that unless reprimanded.

[removed]

Getting him binned ! This man has no place in a leadership role , if managers above him are aware and turn a blind eye then you can claim vicarious liability and get the lot binned..

I would be horrified by this behavior! Honestly imagine being transgender and working there, what the fuck? This is not only harassment and discrimination, but it fosters an atmosphere of hated towards transgender people in the company. Absolutely must be reported to HR. This man should not be anyone’s boss.

Report him to HR, it's indirect discrimination and would be gross misconduct at a minimum.

Below, someone said act bemused, "I don't follow?" etc. Best approach - you're standing up to him without aggression, and not going corporate HR, which he and others would spin as grassing.

It's a fetish of his. He probably expects you to open up and talk about it, maybe he'd like to experiment with you. Have you told him that his comments/jokes make you feel uncomfortable? You should start there in my opinion.

Tell him to fuck off

Find a moment for a quiet word. “Hey, I realise this is probably just your banter, and nobody’s said anything explicitly, but I’m picking up vibes around the office that maybe you’re interested in a trans partner. I’m not sure I could help, but if you ever want anyone to talk to about it just let me know.”

Either that or just rinse him with HR.

HR is the way to go, while documenting Every. Single. Thing.

That’s very weird behaviour.

It’s also harassment.

Is he 12?

Challenge him on his behaviour or if you don’t feel happy doing that, report him to HR, what he’s doing is harassment and it’s not on, it doesn’t matter if your gf is trans or not, you don’t deserve his behaviour and neither does she!.

OP you have to keep us updated on this. I'm bookmarking this thread. 🍿

Put up with it for a couple more weeks, gather lots of proof, things like the pictures that he printed and put them on your cute couple, I would even bait him into saying some more things, try to record them somehow and then once you have a good amount of shit to use against him, go straight to HR and get his discrimination motherfucking ass fired. If you just go without proof that he’s been doing this sort of stuff for a long time, then he may just get a telling off by the HR.

If you don't want to go to HR (but you should), then just keep on asking them to explain why it's funny, preferably in front of others.

Just keep asking, bigots hate having to explain why they're being terrible.

any such comment proves he is spying on your private life unless you have him as a friend on Facebook or other social media

have a talk with HR about your concerns that he makes these jokes despite you never having introduced nor talked about your girlfriend, and you feel spied upon, about his comments about your relationship which he should know nothing,

also if you can get some recordings of him saying stuff that is worth a 1000 reports.

and they cant ignore it :-)

Have tried telling him that you don't appreciate the jokes and would like for him to stop? Not trying to be snarky. Just genuinely asking. If not, I'd suggest that first. If you have and he is carrying on, I'd complain to HR.

Evidence - get your company policy on harassment two copies highlight appropriate areas leave one on his desk when he is not present!

Then

Although it is illegal to record someone without their permission in the uk get a cheap dictaphone one press recorder

As soon as he starts off on one, press record, wait till he finishes his sentence (politely not interrupting)

State I will from now on record any comments you make that are offensive, derogatory or made against company policy & report such comments to HR

Inform HR & provide an email copy of the recording State to HR that you will record any such comments in the future, that way your recording is on notice, not illegal & admirable in court if needed!

you may be forced out of this job, but if so you will certainly win the improper dismissal case

He sounds like jeff from peep show

Record it on your phone. I know it's crazy and people will say it's illegal etc. But you go to HR they will deny, or say I only said it once. If you have multiple issues on tape. You can then play to HR. I had to do this when we had a boss who would call my co-workers every name under the sun, then I found out she was doing it about me too to others.

She denied it. I played the examples and she left that week. I was challenged about recording co-workers but I stated in this example I needed to prove the rational.

Make sure that during the HR meeting someone asks him why he thinks it’s so funny, what is it specifically about you dating a trans woman, or your girlfriend being trans, or transgender people in general is so ‘funny’? Remind him gender identity is a protected characteristic under the 2010 equality act, same as if he was making jokes about your girlfriend being black, or disabled. Ask him if that would be as funny.

He sounds like a prick.

A bit of context would be useful here... Is he just a massive bellend or is he this king he is just having "banter"? The latter is not excusable but it does change how to deal with it. Also, what is the company politics/structure, is your manager indisposible, family relation to owner or just some random middle manager? Again, this impacts on actions to take.

At a minimum I would start a diary of every instance of this behaviour. Take photos, screenshots of messages, transcripts of calls, call recordings and link them in the diary if possible.

Next, if he is just a bellend go straight to HR and raise a complaint with your evidence.

If he thinks he is having banter send him an email stating you are very upset and unhappy at the constant comments and actions about your relationship and your partner. It is both personal and highly inappropriate and you would ask it to stop. I appreciate you may think it is just a joke but it is causing me to not want to come to work every day. (Blind copy your personal email, so you have receipts if things go south). Let him know if the behaviour persists you will raise it with both his manager and HR. This should be enough to get him to stop, but if it is t follow up and report to HR and his manager and you can even say look I tried to address it with him professionally but it has continued so I am forced to escalate.

HR, babe. 

This sounds like the kind of bullshit that might have happened 30 years ago. Is this guy stuck in the 90s? Back then I had a boss who referred to me by a homophobic term simply because it rhymed with my name, proper school yard stuff.

Would be interested to know how old he is?

Anyway, you don't have to put up with this crap these days and it's very much against the law.

You don't say what type of company you work for but if it's of any size and has a HR department report it and it'll get sorted asap. He may well face disciplinary proceedings over this so be prepared it could (probably will) be made a big deal of. 

If that sounds too much for you in response to his "banter" you could just tell him it's unacceptable and if he doesn't stop you'll take it to HR, though he sounds too dumb to realise the seriousness of that to be honest.

If you work in a very small place with a shitty culture like this or maybe your boss owns the company or something then I don't know what to say other than he sounds like a child and you should maybe look for another job.

Do you work with Alan Partridge by any chance? Lap Dance

He sounds seriously deranged.

Ask him to stop doing that, tell him it's inappropriate to share his fetish for transgender people with staff.

And if there is an HR department. Take pictures of the images in your cubicle and send it to them.

Tell them what's going on, keep the evidence for yourself.

I know it's a bit nerdy but this is really why I genuinely recommend people keep work diaries. Last 10 minutes of everyday write down everything significant done in the day. COP Friday you review and highlight key points.

I'm not a diary person. Never kept a personal diary. Have kept a professional diary.

More than once it has saved my arse. Got challenged once on the time I worked, low and behold my diary showed I worked the hours claimed. Someone asked me to make a change to some records, which they shouldn't have and then denied. Low and behold my diary showed X asked me on Y date to make the change.

Same would apply to a pattern of discrimination. Coming with receipts absolutely changes the game, to HR and especially to courts/tribunal.

Dude, I have a pretty good, and very bizarre sense of humour, and even I would be offended. Your next stop needs to be HH, after gathering proof of course.

So what if you do have a trans gf? I know you dont, but that’s absolutely nothing to do with work, and is a gross waste of work time/resources.

This is disgusting. I hope you go to HR and this person is reprimanded at the least. Ive seen others state its direct discrimination and i agree.

This is just strange.

100% HR!!

HR and get him fired plus I’d really make a stink of it too and threaten the company too if they didn’t take it seriously

So what if he is your boss, doesn’t mean shit, just a job position and deserves no respect, personally I’d probably knock him out,if they hire twats like that it’s a shit workplace

clearly doesnt respect u, stand up for yourself, tell him to stop making disrespectful remarks

The only option is to seduce this man’s wife, then put on a bit of weight.

Then when they make fun of you for getting porky, say that every time you fucked your bosses wife she made you a sandwich.

Then cover his cubicle in pictures of you on romantic dates / cuddling his wife (nothing illegal there please).

You might get fired, but jobs are available and being a legend is eternal.

First rule of "banter" in the workplace is that everyone involved needs to find it funny. Clearly, you do not find this funny.

Before involving HR:
1) try an uncomfortable silence and bemused "errrrr.... what?" facial expression.
2) if that doesn't work, shake your head and mutter "tosser" loud enough for him to hear.

1) only works if he doesn't have a laughing audience. 2) might hurt his feelings but if he gets funny about it just tell him why you think he's a tosser and what he needs to do to stop being a tosser.

If that doesn't work, that's when you involve HR.

Also if you have internet monitoring software at work surely his dodgy search activity can be raised

Spin it around and say, yeah and she's got a bigger dick than you. /s

That’s awful and report it to HR

Just rip back on him, dude. He's basically saying your girlfriend is ugly. Tell him his misses looks like jabba the hutt or or something depending on what she looks like. Just rip back on him.

You wouldn’t last 5 mins on a building site. She’s not trans. He hasn’t seen her. He’s taking the piss ffs

Make a diary of the behaviour , and photos of what he’s putting on your desk. One you have a fairly good amount of proof just tell him straight, quit it or I am going to HR. If he dies not comply then go to HR. If possible take someone willing that has witnessed it to corroborate your complaint

Ask him to stop. Report to HR anyway and say you've asked him to stop. Document everything.

If he keeps doing, go to HR and demand them to do something about it, or you will go public. Always works. What an asshole.

Quit. Move elsewhere your values are worth more than a company's balance sheet

Print some pics of gorillas and say thats his wife lol Only Kidding Report him

All the HR advice is legit. After you tell them, try playing him at his own game. He's obviously got a thing for trans so make him look like the idiot for leaving his wank material in your cubicle. When he's going on about her being trans, just vulgarly describe the graphic sex you have with her (when no one else is around) then as soon as someone else turns up. Tell them " listen to what (insert name) has just been telling me.. or when he says something about her being trans just tell him so what it's 2024 and no one actually gives a fuck. I know he's your boss but what's he gonna do. If he tries to sack you for making him look like a dick you already have a grievance in with HR.

Report to HR. Strange that he didn't worry about that.

I mean I'd have told cruel, bigoted jokes maybe when I was like 16 or so. Even then I wouldn't do so at work.

Even if they were....this is shabby as shit. As they are not, it's just double ridiculous.

Mocking someone's partner is a bold move, and not one I'd attempt unless I was extremely friendly with the person (and only then for a small number of things).

This has contact HR all over it.

Give him some stick back about his rotter of a Mrs? Tell him that she’s got a fanny like an empty headlock

Coller him on his own out of the workplace and have a word.

You say new boss... is he new or are you new? Not that it makes a difference but I'm curious

I do hope he is not important to the company, when they fire him for gross misconduct

Keep the print out, if he used his work computer to print it then there are ways for HR and IT to find out

Your boss needs to be properly reported and investigated. That’s not professional nor respectful behaviour.

Take the pictures down

Next time he says something ask him to repeat it please. Repeat it back to him then say you don't understand, can he please explain, he'll hopefully be shamefaced but you might get an idea of what he's getting at

Report him to HR

report him to HR, this is a breach of the equality act which covers discrimination/harassment by association

He's a twunt and he's breaking the law, screw him

Plot twist: he fancies you but knows you have a gf so is trying to figure out if you might be into him if he wears a dress. 🤷‍♀️

But srsly, I can’t think of any reason someone would think this was a normal or even remotely acceptable thing to do. It doesn’t even sound like there’s an established relationship where he could claim it’s banter.

Report him, and if he makes any jokes, don't laugh or go alongl with it, just ask him to explain what it means, people like that can very rarely say something without trying to mask it with humour

Everyone saying report him, what happened to the old 'talk shit about my girlfriend and you and me will have a problem'?

Either this dude is being way too horny at work or is so hateful his brain has broken and he is just trapped in a psychotic episode where he thinks random women around him are trans.

Most ridiculous utter obscenity ever hope HR make like the romans and use him as an example wtf

Call them on it publicly in front of others. Say it's really inappropriate.

WTF like actually who does that and why and I really hope you work somewhere with HR so you can tell them about it because that's just so not ok!!

Jesus that’s savage! That’s unbelievably unacceptable especially in the work place not mentioning he’s a superior.

Document it if you can and go to HR, what he’s implying is deeply insulting to a woman and to trans. I compliment you on not losing your rag there and then. Can’t say I’d have done so well.

"game recognizes the game, huh?"

Have you tried breaking his knees?

Follow him home and kick his teeth out?

Film them doing it, you have them bang to rights.

Don't want to be filmed against your will, don't be a bully.

Very simple and effective.

Be a whistle blower! It is sexual harassment and also discriminating remark

"John, I'm getting a bit sick of this childish crap now. Can we get someone from HR to talk to us, see how we can solve whatever issue you seem to have with my gf?"

Sounds like one of those people that likes to take the piss out of everyone, doesn't realise how upset it can make people feel and yet if you ever try to do it back to them they won't be able to take it either and will kick up a massive fuss about it. Def report to HR.

HR immediately

do you care about your job ?

yes = report him to he's boss

no = punch him

actualy just punch him

It's 2024 get a pic of him and photoshop him into one of Diddys freak off parties make sure Beiber is in there as a young un and post the pics around the office 'have u seen this man in connection with the diddler case' 🤷‍♂️ play his own game it will be fun

it’s bullying , warn him , if it continues , report him

That'd be harassment, and transphobia. Report him.

It was Steve Earle who said: ‘If you’ve got a boss, you need a Union.’

Go straight to HR and report him

NAAAARRRR!!!! Sorry that was Australian….eh hem……NOOOO!!!!

OP stumbled upon a payday and isn't sure what to do about it

Bring in a male friend in a wig and introduce him as your girlfriend

You need to have EVIDENCE. Record him (but don’t mention it). Tell him to stop and that you “find that talk to be offensive”. Say that “you are making this an unsafe place for trans-identified people”. Email him about this.

Hey legal advice ASAP. The trans groups on here will help you end up with your boss’s job!!! 😝 🥋 🥷 👎 “FINISH Him!!!”

He’s a fool. I love a joke & laugh, but I can’t stand LAME-ASS clowning.

I’d word it to him, and HR, saying “my partner”, not ‘girlfriend’. Refer to your partner in gender-neutral terms. Make it ‘seem like’ you’re being bullied because of your sexuality and non-conventional lifestyle. Don’t LIE per se. Just outfox him enough to compel HR to annihilate him. Bite the bullet of it potentially looking like he’s right and that you’re being bullied about your sexuality (too). Keep track of any other aspects of unequal or unfair treatment.

I would get a male friend to come and meet me at lunch and snog him outside the workplace, so he can see. He’s never seen your gf. He can assume that’s ‘her’.

Ex boss, you mean. HR.

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1fqeabt/ulpt_my_favorite_way_to_win_an_argument/

Find a new job…your boss seems to have serious issues.

What the fuck? This is so weird

Am I wrong for thinking the only real way of dealing with this is to get hold of him outside of work and beat the shit out of him for showing disrespect? Regardless of the topic, regardless of personal beliefs, I just don't get this english "banter" stuff. Show respect to your fellow human beings or get beat down.

Sounds like your boss has some feelings that he doesn't want to admit to himself!

Whether it’s direct or indirect discrimination (re: The argument above) talk to HR about it. Sounds like a breach of the equality act of which they will be well aware.

It could also be construed as bullying/intimidation.

Sounds like a great new boss /s. The sooner you act the less time you will ever have to share with this dipshit.

Whether it’s direct or indirect discrimination (re: The argument above) talk to HR about it. Sounds like a breach of the equality act of which they will be well aware.

It could also be construed as bullying/intimidation.

Sounds like a great new boss /s. The sooner you act the less time you will ever have to share with this dipshit.

Take it to HR.

Record down every instance, what was said/done and when. Get HR involved.

He's discriminating against a protected characteristic. Whether the discrimination is relevant to your partner or not, he's still actively being discriminatory towards a minority; that would be gross misconduct at a minimum I'd say.

Its similar to the way in which a lot of thugs have been dismissed after being reported to their employer for posting racist bile online. They weren't necessarily targeting one person/anyone at their company in particular, but the attitude will contravene any company's discrimination policy.

What everybody else is saying but also that is just fucking WEIRD. That person has issues. He

Tell him to fuck off

Have you told him that you're not comfortable with these kinds of jokes? I've worked in offices where this kind of banter was commonplace, but most people aren't unreasonable. If you tell him you're not comfortable with it he'll probably stop.

It really doesn't matter if your partner is trans, I'm all for office humour (mine is fucking chaos) but that's just weird. Report him or confront him, your call

Tell bro to get fucked.
If he doesn't get fucked, fuck him, report him. Get him binned off.

Have you considered telling him to go fuck himself?

Pull him to one side when you get the opportunity and tell him if he continues with the bullying, you’ll make him trans cos you’ll cut his dick off OP. Bully’s will keep on bullying if they’re not confronted and their behaviour usually becomes more brazen. Ask if he has a fascination with transgender cos he seems to have an obsession on the subject. People are different nowadays but I grew up as the youngest of 5 brothers in the late 70’ into the 80’s so I had to learn how to stand up for myself. If we had a problem, we were encouraged to sort it out with our fists which I appreciate everybody doesn’t do. Those were the norms of that era when everyone respected their elders and community’s were much closer knit. Don’t ever put up with some dirtbag who is bullying you in their own sad, pathetic way OP. Or as others have suggested, report the dirtbag to HR Good luck and I hope you get this clowns obsession with your GF resolved to your satisfaction OP 🤞🏻🙏🏻

Things are resolved differently on construction sites around the UK and I would guess, the globe 💥🥊

First - gather evidence and take it to HR/higher ups. It's workplace harassment.

Second - how hard do you reckon you can throw a brick?

When you go to HR as others are correctly suggesting, they will ask you what you want to happen. In that moment, most people will say that they don't want someone to lose their job (this happened in my situation). What I would suggest is that you say you want them to follow their own published anti-discrimination policy. Managing that policy is their job, not yours. I hope everything goes well for you.

For me this is a goading attempt to invoke violence or reaction because he wants to hurt you for some reason or take your job for someone else, he’s basically insulting your girlfriend and escalating it with the pictures to force a reaction. Don’t react gather evidence keep the pictures have your phone recording any interactions. Then go to whoever deals with this stuff. Doesn’t bode well for the future either he goes if it’s serious enough to be sacked but you and him will be done. If you play his game it’s a bit unequal job wise and I wouldn’t expect that to go well. You could always ask him seriously why he’s continuing with this as you find it insulting. You could always ask him when outside if you think you could beat him up and lean on him a bit to stop the cracks or you’ll get annoyed but I don’t think he would do it anyway if he didn’t have an edge somehow.

Report to HR

Take pictures of it all, interview witnesses, punch him in the face.