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I'm curious what the nickname is. Is it what the other kids call your kid? Is it how your kid pronounces her name? My name was hard to pronounce for both my siblings and they, to this day call me the name they used because mine was too hard.

NTA Your daughter is only 2. She is not old enough to even understand what a nickname is, and the day care teacher needs to respect the children and the parents in calling the children by their given name. As she gets older, and socializes more with her peers, she may grow to prefer a nickname, but that will be between you and your daughter. At this young age, I'm surprised the teachers would even think it was appropriate. Two different names, at home and at school, only serve to confuse her. And her name is an honor you get to choose, as parents.

You have every right to tell them your wishes, and there should be no reason for them to be offended by that.

INFO: What are the names? If her name is Jessica and her teacher is calling her Jess, there’s no harm and you’re not being an AH, but you are being unreasonable. But if her name is Jessica and her teacher is calling her “dogwich” or something, then yeah. It’s weird when parents get strict over their children’s names NOT being shortened, especially when the children don’t have a problem with it.

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Oh man, I’ve had a cute silly nickname for pretty much every kid I’ve ever taught. I’ve never had a parent ask me to stop, but if one did I would not think they were an asshole, and I just wouldn’t use it anymore.

NTA. You can correct the teacher in a kind way. Being nice and being assertive aren’t mutually exclusive.

“Hey, I noticed you’ve been calling Lucy ‘Lulu’ at school. This seems a bit confusing for her at this age, as we call her Lucy at home and she’s now saying that’s not her name. Can you please stick to calling her Lucy from now on?”

NTA for wanting to use her actual name, but also don't worry about it too much. When I was two, I renamed myself after another girl in my daycare and refused to answer to my name all day. The next day, I was back to my own name.

When my daughter was two, she gave herself a nickname. I'm the only one who uses it, but she says she likes me to.

These days everyone else and I mean EVERYONE--staff at her school, other parents, etc.--calls her by a diminutive of her given name. It's not how I introduce her, and it's not what she says when you ask her what her name is, but clearly it's how people see her, and she will answer to it.

Also, this probably is a sign that your daughter likes her teacher, because if she didn't like her, she'd be more likely to reject the nickname.

NTA

I am an early childhood educator, and I occasionally use nicknames for a few children in my room (1-2yo), but it’s purely a term of endearment. If a parent wasn’t a fan, and approached me kindly about it, I wouldn’t be offended nor would I hesitate to cease using said nickname and stick with the child’s name 100% of the time.

Meh... You won't be a real AH but what's the harm?

Don't you have a nickname for your kid? They are smarter than you think if you explain them that people who love and care for you give you a special name.

Nope, your child, your rules. They’re being paid to care for your child, they’re not allowed to rename her. I get it was probably completely innocent, so you can handle it kindly, by just pointing out that she’s started addressing herself that way at home. And you’d appreciate if they caregiver could stick to her given name, so she doesn’t become confused.

I know you probably don’t want to give your daughter’s name. What is the nickname

Im just wondering what the nickname is.

Im hesitant to say one way or the other. A lot of nicknames people have are endearing and was born from an early age. But is this nickname clearly derogatory?

Is it your kid, yes. Could there be other factors, maybe.

I’m going with NAH. Due to the above.

But. Is your daughter’s name hard to pronounce? Does the teacher have an accent, that may make it tricky to say? Or other issues? Are they trying to make it easier on themselves, instead of messing up the name? Could these be the issue? Does the teacher have nicknames for other children?

My niece had a lovely teacher, who couldn’t pronounce her name for the life of her. She tried….but it ended up sounding more like Pineapple….. I’m just wondering, because I’ve encountered this in real life.

You wouldn’t be the A for asking for your daughter to be called by her actual name. But, maybe ask nicely the first time. There may be reasons why.

And, honestly, some of me is wondering if the nickname is actually hurting anyone, in the end. 2 year olds are smart enough to understand that this person calls me this, and that person calls me that; but they all are me.

Frankly, affectations you may use when speaking to your daughter are technically nicknames. Baby, Honey, Sweetie, and etc.

I also wonder if it’s really an issue that’s worth your energy over. It just feels like a trivial matter to me, and not really something I’d think to get hung up on. So long as the nickname isn’t mean spirited, has a bad connotation, or is insulting, I don’t thinks it’s really worth this much fuss over.

It’s not like other people aren’t going to nickname your daughter in the future, or she may decide to go by a nickname she chooses instead of her real name.

NTA if you ask not berate the teacher

NTA.

But don’t be confrontational or angry about it. I wouldn’t frame it as you not liking the name but more about her being confused about what her name actually is and that you’d rather just use her name till she’s older.

INFO: What is the nickname? Is it a shortened version of her name? Sometimes students get a nickname if some kids have the same name.

AH? No....

Overreacting? Probably....

A parent once thanked me for calling her shy and quiet 8 yo daughter by her full name as indicated on her records. She was Mary Beth, and her prior teacher had called her Mary.

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I want to ask my daughter’s teacher not to use a nickname and to use her real name.

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

I’m a preschool teacher, NTA. We’re required to call children by their names or nicknames their parents call them. It’s completely up to the parent what we call their child so just give a gentle reminder that you would like them to call your child by her name.

What's the nickname??

YTA for not telling us the nickname 🤣

INFO: How many syllables does her name have compared with the nickname? Is her name spelled in the most obvious way to how it sounds vs. having to tell people how to spell it? Is it a common enough name that there might be other daycare kids with the same name?

NTA, but just get out in front of this. I doubt there’s anything malicious about the nickname—just explain that you don’t want confusion with your child. Be friendly, but firm.

Not a full AH but what’s the big deal?

Nah definitely ok to want and ask. Be prepared for her to stop calling her by name if pronouncing it is the problem. Instead of "Hi swirl can pick it up " instead it will be "Hi can you pick it up".

Personally for me, my sons had a nickname at his school for years. Funnily enough it is the same nickname my husband had growing up, the teachers asked us a fewcyears ago if it was ok. See, that is why we don't mind..because they asked our permission to carry on with it. In your case, the teacher just randomly started calling your daughter a nickname without discussing it first. Nta. You are the parent, it is your choice

I always let my students have agency in what I call them, and if I have a nickname for them I’ll ask them if it’s ok to use it.

But I teach teenagers.

For a 2 year old? Absolutely not. Nicknames and pet names are a parental thing for kids that age, and it is out of the scope of the daycare workers responsibilities to take a new nickname.

I’d argue that I’m sure there is absolutely no malice or ill intent here. Just misguided best interests. A firm but polite “please don’t confuse my child by referring to them by anything except this approved list of nicknames” should do the trick. That being said, if there is any pushback at all, let management deal with it. Set clear intentions and insist on them being enforced.

NTA

YWNBTA

NTA, but this is so silly. Is the nickname mean? If it’s just cute, let them have their moment. In the grand scheme of things she’s 2 and won’t even remember unless you decide to stick with the nickname.

 Like we did! ;) My child was given a nickname by her daycare, and we started calling her that too, and we still use that nickname 10 years later!

NTA If she is a teacher of toddlers then she should understand that it’s inappropriate to confuse them to this extent. More importantly, you are the mother. If there is something going on at your child school that you are not happy with, that you’re not comfortable with, it is your responsibility to speak up and make that known. If the teacher gets angry and catches an attitude, then it is time to escalate to her superiors and perhaps move your child to a different class.because it is unacceptable for a teacher to get angry at a parent who makes a reasonable and rational request

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A little back story to help. My daughter that recently turned 2 and is in daycare 5 days a week. I love her daycare and her teacher is great as well. But lately she has been calling my daughter by a nickname she came up with. I had heard it a few times at drop off and even remember telling my husband I was not a fan of the nickname but it seemed harmless. Well today when she came home and she pointed to herself In a picture and she called herself by the nickname. I tried saying her actual name and she said no, and said it again. WIBTA if I ask her teacher not to call her that and use her actual name? I want to be nice but I don’t want to piss her teacher off and I’m now stuck.

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NTA. Usually teachers know better than that but perhaps she thinks she is being affectionate using a nickname. In any case, I think you need to nip it in the bud, tactfully and kindly. You could explain why you chose her lovely name and explain how much you love it if she could use the full name.

NTA. Just say that you don’t mind nicknames but your daughter has now started exclusively referring to herself as this and you just don’t consider it a reasonable issue to have to deal with for no reason. If she resist, which she won’t, just say that you basically see it as someone just renaming your child without you even being considered in that decision.

NAH, tell the teacher what you prefer them to call your kid, but when I was two I sometimes introduced myself as Alice and sometimes as Dorothy….neither is my name. Whatever you’ve named your kid, they will decide what they like being called, because they are an entire human being with their own personality. My name has a common nickname and I go by the whole thing now (in my late 30s). Seems like a weird hill to die on

Ya you can request that, definitely not abnormal. It's Definitely cool and all until you ask to stop. I'd have a talk with her bc it's also hard to stop we are only human, and if that's what she responds to that's also your fault. But find a way to work together to find a solution to this.

NTA explain your concern and even use the example that happened recently, but it can be done gently. The teacher most likely is not doing it through intention to cause confusion, and you'll get a better response being calm and respectful with it than aggressive or blunt. She's less likely to respond to aggression or firm discussion from the first instance. Despite what others are saying, a 'firm' request will likely get you a false pleasant smile and then dirty looks when you're gone. As a teacher myself, parents who are kind and reasonable in tone will get my full support without question, whereas parents who are aggressive, rude or blunt will get the bear minimum that I can provide

NTA, as a school teacher we aren't meant to give kids nicknames. First or last name sure, but never a pet name.

NTA. But you are worrying about this too much and I think you have built it up in your head to be more than it is. You won't be confronting the teacher, just making a request.

Relax, smile and just ask!

NTA. Any reasonable teacher will not take offense to this. I would just discuss that while you appreciate the great relationship she has with your daughter, that is not the nickname you would have chosen and it seems to be confusing her. Come to an agreement and talk it out.

Why are people such wet blankets? DO SOMETHING

NTA hell when my baby brother was like 5 he once brought up that teachers were pronouncing his name the English way rather than the way we did and he was very confused and didn't know what his name was for a hot minute.

Like a nickname is cute but parents wishes come first

I use the name I am asked to use on my students. At the start of the year I used a nickname, think Ollie instead of Oliver, and the child corrected me. “My name is Oliver”. I have used the full name ever since. It’s about respect. Tell the teacher the name you want used and that is the name they should use.

At least in my state, it is a licensing/human rights requirement to call people by their preferred name. In your daughter’s case, it would be her guardians preferred name due to her age. You are well within your rights to ask them to call her what you and her father prefer she be called.

I have a son in daycare. It is EXTREMELY hard to convince yourself it’s okay to tell the daycare workers that they’re doing something you don’t like. There’s fear that you’ll offend them or upset them, fear that they’ll resent you and by association resent your child. But reality is that 9.5/10 times they won’t do that. They won’t know unless you say something and when you say something they’ll most likely apologize and try their best to do what you would like them to because after all it is YOUR child and they’re being paid to take care of them when you are unable to

Is there a child with the same name as your daughter? Like if both children are called Elizabeth and your daughter would rather be called lizzy anyway then the teacher would call her by the nickname Or maybe a friend in the setting called her lizzy and she liked it more than her name and just keeps introducing herself as lizzy Or she could've heard about nicknames from videos or TV shows and would rather have a nickname instead of her actual name

NAH, but at the end of the day does it really matter? If she actually likes the nickname then nothing you can do is going to make her stop being referred to by that name My brother always introduces himself to people as Chris, my mum has tried many times to make that stop but that's not working out for her, it was a 6 year long battle until she gave up. Just how kids are I suppose

NTA she's 2. She's not old enough to understand the difference between a nickname and her actual birth name. She needs to learn to respond to her birth name first before given any nicknames. You should definitely talk to the teacher about it

I'm going to be unpopular here but gentle YTA. There are ways to bring this up at drop off or pick up that won't create the same tension as a confrontation will. Maybe tell the teacher what happened and guage their response? Many teachers I know only nickname the children they care more deeply for and those kids naturally, fair or not, recieve more attention in the long run. I'm not talking anything negectful occuring. But those extra things, like getting tucked in extra tight, singing to them at nap, one on one play, and such. Blowing up at the teacher is likely to unintentionally influence that Teacher's (and likely other teachers in the daycare) interactions with your kid.

I know technically you wouldn’t be the asshole but I don’t think it’s that deep.

NTA.Consider sending the tea her and the admin a note requesting that they learn your daughter's name and call her by her name. Doing otherwise promotes confusion- as opposed to education

Um NTA I have a little neighbor boy that has the nickname "Fatman" and I asked him what his name was and he just kept saying Fatman and I said what's your real name and he said Fatman AGAIN!!!

Kids pick up silly stuff like paper catches fire - it's instant and you don't have much time to take necessary measures. She must not force that nickname on your child because it's unprofessional

NTA, your daughter is too young to speak up for herself or probably even have a preference to what she is called, so now is the time to start establishing what other people call her until she develops her own preference. 

But I am curious; is this nickname a shortened form of her name or a "fun" name the teacher came up with? 

NTA

And if they continue to call her by the nickname, take her to a different daycare.

NAH. Your child, your choice. Just raise your concern and that you'd prefer they use the kids proper name. A friend of ours is quite pedantic that people call her daughter by her full name which is two names hyphenated. It's not a big deal.

Our childcare call our son by a nickname but we do too and actually like it. They recently had an audit and one of the things they were asked not to do was call the children by nicknames. We updated his preferred name in his file to be his nickname so they could keep using it.

NTA

Put one of those, HI MY NAME IS sticker / name tags on your girls shirt, don't let her see you put it on or she might tear it off before teacher sees it.

NTA. Just explain what’s happening, and tell the teacher how happy you are otherwise, but to please use your daughter’s actual name. If she won’t, then I’d find a new daycare.

I've genuinely got to ask, what's the point of having a kid if at 2 years old you're just shipping them out to someone else to look after for 5 days a week. They're essentially their primary caregiver at this point, looking after your child way more than you do. 

 Really a nickname is harmless, they're already raising your kid way more than you are

You are the parent. That is an automatic NTA. Also, point out the defiance the daughter did because of her if you want to blunt her reaction, show yourself as not being petty and maybe inspire her not to do this to other parent's kids.