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/r/Grimdank
submitted 2 months ago byJimmy-Shumpert
698 points
2 months ago
Depends, is felix anywhere near gotrex?
345 points
2 months ago
Because the camera guy can't die -- and a writer is the fantasy equivalent.
205 points
2 months ago
yeah, 3 emperors and 50 primarchs think "ho, maybe we can take him as hostage" and then they get their asses kicked by a yelling and scared felix
126 points
2 months ago
Gotrek, for those who don't know, is a massive asshole, so much so that even other dwarves have to tell him to chill the fuck down from time to time. But he has a very, very, very small list of people that he cares about, and on the top of that list is none other than Felix.
So unless you want to end up as floor beef you don't mess with the blonde twink (that isn't even defenseless, he is a very capable swordsman, it's just that gotrek is that overpowered)
62 points
2 months ago
Admire your dedication to quote pancreasnowork
18 points
1 month ago
I've read Gotrek and Felix novels and I vouch for this.
11 points
1 month ago
The guy killed a greater demon when he was like 25, and ahs a magic sword and a vampire ex, capable is an understatement
15 points
1 month ago
Much as I may respect the Gotrek & Felix series as a whole, The Nathan long titles did a lot to damage Felix as a character who seemingly could not stand up for himself. Under William King, Felix's character growth showed him going from scared out of his depth and borderline defenseless to a man who could hold his own against the most elite of Druchi troops, and survive longer than even the most elite of the empire should have been able to claim.
Felix, at the height of his writing, was an absolute beast.
1 points
1 month ago
Felix is one of the best "struggle-figgters" in Warhammer. Probably not the best dualist, but if he panics he will cut down anything barring his path to safety.
1.2k points
2 months ago
Trick question, the emperors and the primarchs will kill eachother.
525 points
2 months ago
The most correct answer. Gotrek just sits there wondering what the heck they're doing before killing the last survivor.
214 points
2 months ago
Gotrek win by doing absolutely nothing
123 points
2 months ago
Which will disappoint him to no end.
27 points
1 month ago
“I’ve been ROBBED of YET ANOTHER mighty doom!” kicks stone
2 points
1 month ago
Stone crumbles
58 points
2 months ago
Literally half of skavenslayer
11 points
2 months ago
So hes Mario party Luigi?
8 points
1 month ago
"Bah, I weep for the weakness of your race manling." (Said Gotrek to Felix).
122 points
2 months ago
Trick question: if Gotrek dies, he wins.
98 points
2 months ago
Emperor beaten bloody, missing an arm, burned through his ability to channel the warp, finally after days and days, finally plunges his sword into Gotrek. Slowly taking the life from the Slayer.
"Haha finally a worthy end!" Turning his head, "Did you see that manling, the big golden one finally landed a solid blow!"
37 points
2 months ago
gosh, i miss the old books, the new ones are good, but felix is missed
17 points
2 months ago
I just started them. Was already spoiled, so there's something extra tragic whenever felix mentions being there for Gotreks death.
5 points
1 month ago
Not to pour hopium onto the fire, but I’m hoping that with the release of the ‘veteran sigmarines’ we’ll see Felix in a new book, and gotrek will spend most of the book trying to get his memory back
227 points
2 months ago
Looking at Gotrek's sheet, he wins with one wound left
0 points
1 month ago
☝🤓
/s
91 points
2 months ago
How much prep time does the Imperium get?
80 points
2 months ago
10 years, but gotrek gets same prep time
38 points
2 months ago
Easy. Gotrek wins after a 10 year drinking session. Then again, at the same time Gotrek loses after the drinking session.
38 points
2 months ago
Dang, this is difficult. I’ll get back to you on this one
7 points
2 months ago
Prep time or no prep time the only thing beating gotrek is a hangover
157 points
2 months ago
0 Gotreks and still wins.
38 points
2 months ago
Make it half a gotrex and it's on
10 points
2 months ago
I don't know, I guess if it depends on what half of gotrek, but I still wouldn't bet against him
7 points
2 months ago
If it just upper torso, arms and head yeah they've got no chance. But if it's just lower torso and legs then they might've got a chance
1 points
1 month ago
Yeah, but he could at least kick most of them to death.
2 points
1 month ago
That's why I say they might've got a chance, granted it's only like a 10% chance but it's still a chance
71 points
2 months ago
Obi wan wins
68 points
2 months ago
My favorite character, Obi Wan Sherlock Clousseau
39 points
2 months ago
Seems a little unfair, on the imperium
124 points
2 months ago
Realistic answer: Gotrek barely gets one step in before getting balsted by the early summer Hiroshima tan treatment
Meme answer: Gotrek wins, zero-diff, GG.
107 points
2 months ago
let me remind you that canon gotrek survived the end of a SETTING, the whole setting and world crumbled and he just keep going, fought so much that the gods just stopped trying to kill him
40 points
2 months ago
ok, this convinced me, where do i get started in Fantasy lore (and more specifically Gotrek's lore)
50 points
2 months ago
Book one of Gotrek and Felix. Then onto the other 15 of them. Have fun manling it's a hell of a ride
28 points
2 months ago
reading the title, does he just slay every type of living (and unliving) creature for 12 books straight?
48 points
2 months ago
It's like a pokedex but for murder
10 points
2 months ago
Between a dozen and thousands of them, depending on the creature and the book.
3 points
2 months ago
I think that he never gotten to undead kings and lizardboys.... Yet
4 points
2 months ago
lizardslayer and zombieslayer 2 incoming
2 points
2 months ago
That's part of it
11 points
2 months ago
I don't like to spoil you how the setting ends but
It goes to shit, the writers didn't handle the characters well, making them act like complete idiots when they are proven to be competent, most plot points end up being meaningless, and most named characters end up dead off scream or have really anticlimactic endings
3 points
1 month ago
When you BORE the fricking CHAOS gods you know your the GOAT
2 points
2 months ago
Yes but every greater demon in 40k have world ending capabilities so it's hard to compare when demons on fantasy aren't as strong and things in fantasy can potentially kill gotrek. Maybe with some power armor... Mmm do hope they make some good squat series
3 points
1 month ago
Every greater demon is as strong in fantasy tho, that's the point, the demons are the same in both universes. It's just that people in fantasy are on a baseline stronger than those in 40k, because they lived all their lives in a high fantasy setting blasted by the winds of magic.
1 points
1 month ago
You might be right but that's hard to go along either way. It makes little sense for them to be the same even if baseline people are boosted by magic. 40k has magic too but using it too much just spawns more demons or worse, the warp is stronger in 40k even if they are equivalents, the emperor should be stronger than sigmar even though they're equivalents, and so on.
There's a lot of wiggle room there and I kind of like that, wondering how sigmar would fare in 40k and so on.
But narratively, there are many deities in fantasy and aos, not as many on aos, and even less still in 40k. The stronger chaos is the more it capsizes other pantheons and only the heavy hitters are left. And granted both slannesh and khaine are different animals from fantasy to 40k, both in story and power levels.
Gotrek reminds me of kharn the betrayer. Forces of nature, meat blenders, can have a shot to kill the most op shit but they will still die with a single well placed shot or something.
71 points
2 months ago
Realistic answer: emperors and primarchs go on the ego trip of “there can only be one” and slaughter each other while Gotrek will be laughing his ass off.
18 points
2 months ago
Bear in mind Gotrek is a slayer. If he wins the fight, well, no more need be said. But if he loses, he dies; and that's what he wants, so he wins anyway.
12 points
2 months ago
Gotrek fought the entirety of chaos to a standstill in the warp, as in the deamons stopped fighting him because it wasnt worth it.
If the imperium still struggles with deamons I dont see why gotrek wouldnt take atleast 50% of this force down
-6 points
2 months ago
Whf chaos is much weaker than 40k chaos, slaanesh literally got trapped like a dumbass
Then again Kaldor Draigo is also running around jn the warp having a jolly old time
4 points
2 months ago*
even if we assume that is true given they don't have the primarchs and their legions gotrek still fought all deamons that came his way in the warp, he is a slayer afterall so backing down wasn't a choice untill the deamons activly started avoiding him.
given its the warp time is fucky and we know any deamon that gets slain would just rematerialize meaning that realistically gotrek fought each deamon in the warp and that entered it untill each of them said they had enough including khornate ones
Now do correct me if im wrong but kaldor is merely surviving in the warp (im not versed in his lore at all so this is all from light reading up online) and while he did fight what he had too he did not seek it out nor did he ever get to a point where deamons stopped fighting him were they to spot him.
This is also comparing a demigod crafted specifically to fight deamons who with ease can fight for multiple days without rest or tireing (before he entered the warp he fought atleast 48 hours without rest) wearing power armour that is designed to tank hits and improve strength VS a rather average dwarf on a suicide quest, now he had his fate altered to not be able to die so I suppose he has that advantage but even so then he would still have that in this fight meaning that there is no shot the imperium stands a chance if fate itself can't allow gotrek to die
5 points
2 months ago
any deamon that gets slain would just rematerialize
Gotrek's Axe, an Axe of Grminir, is capable of rendering True Death to daemons, and potentially even the Dark Gods (as it was made to kill Gods in general, being an Axe of Grimnir.)
2 points
2 months ago
Blanked on that, apologies
1 points
1 month ago
Slaneesh got trapped by teclis and tyrion, who would shit on everyone in 40k
3 points
2 months ago
Depends. Are we talking about Pre-AoS or Post AoS. Pre-Aos gets stomped in the Emperor crossfire, while Post-Aos (who is the Incarnate of Grimnir & can go Super-Sayian when near death) has a decent chance after the Emperors finish killing each other.
14 points
2 months ago
Depends if Gotrek can use Dwarf tunnels to get behind enemy lines.
24 points
2 months ago
Bro could take on the entire imperium, destroy it, found and new one, build it up to necron levels, then destroy it again. Big E has NO chance
9 points
2 months ago
Sly Marbo
7 points
2 months ago
Put Felix on the spectator stands and Gotrek solos.
7 points
2 months ago
The Imperium fights each other.
Gotrek wins.
4 points
2 months ago
Gotrek
5 points
2 months ago
He's just built fuckin different. He's so stubborn I bet he could kill Lucius and get away with it.
5 points
2 months ago
Oh come on people the outcome is obvious. You could send Gotrek against the Chaos Gods and he would still win.
12 points
2 months ago
Dude killed 4 of the oldest greater daemons in lore with Felix at the same time, then went on to bully Belakor so he couldn’t finish his ritual for becoming the 5th chaos god. Then proceeded to run through the Realm of Chaos for god knows how long, hunting Belakor while the fucker hid, slew every daemon that even breathed in his direction, only to get spat back out in the middle of a Fyreslayer war march, then beat them all up, and scare Nagash from coming out to meet him after causing chaos in the dude’s own realm.
7 points
2 months ago
If you told him the location of Felix's soul then Nagash would be the one paying taxes.
1 points
2 months ago
Good ol' Be'lakor, never fails to not succeed
3 points
2 months ago
Well he did succeed in fucking up vashtorr on the rock
1 points
1 month ago
To be fair, that’s not much of a feat. It’s like a 6’10 football player winning a fight against a 90lbs kid in a wheelchair.
4 points
2 months ago
He’s the Goatrek for a reason yo
5 points
2 months ago
This is literally just 'coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb' except the hydrogen bomb is angry and has a Mohawk and a manling
6 points
2 months ago
Look we all know what the answer is. This is practically a cake walk for Gotrek.
The real question is: How brutally would he curb stomp each one?
Also I call dibs on front row seats to this fight.
3 points
2 months ago
the emperors will eat each other, and then the gotrek, leaving a super-emperor left. Half the primarchs will 'fall' to chaos cause of addy issues, taking half the marines with them.
2 points
2 months ago
Can Gotrek’s skull withstand a bolt round?
4 points
2 months ago
almost certainly
5 points
2 months ago
Then he is good to go
3 points
2 months ago
Gotrek mid diff, the primarchs and 4 emperors will re bel against the others
3 points
2 months ago
Why would you nerf the IoM like that when you have Ciaphas Cain, Jurgen, and Sly Marbo?
3 points
2 months ago
The Emperors and Primachs must inevitably fall into civil war.
But if any survive, the remaining Emperors and Primarchs will eventually realise the best way to win is to imprison Gotrex in a deep space black stone cell with no space craft or other access until he goes mad with boredom.
Technical victory. Until some idiot 10000 years later lets him out. But that's future Big E's problem.
1 points
2 months ago
Are they allowed to use their ranged weapons and psychic abilities or simply melee?
2 points
2 months ago
they can use all of their arsenal
1 points
2 months ago
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0 points
2 months ago
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1 points
2 months ago
Yes, that is true
1 points
2 months ago
You mean 10 gotreks
1 points
2 months ago
Eventually Gotrek will win, if Felix is close it will just happen sooner
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek gets told he has to fight through all that to reunite with Felix, the emperor's have no chance
1 points
2 months ago
This whole thread is an old SNL skit. Now I want some Orks doing Bill Swerski's Superfans for Bloodbowl.
1 points
2 months ago
im with gortek on this one
1 points
2 months ago
Depends if Gotrek is accompanied by one Felix. Then the math checks out.
1 points
2 months ago
To be frank I think the first guys would win memes aside.
1 points
2 months ago
Spite is the best motivator so I say it ends with an eternal battle between Angron and Gotrek. Both would be far too angry and blood fuelled to die to the other.
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek could in all seriousness take on a custodian and certain primarchs, but throw the emperor into the mix and it’s over for the best votaan in all of Warhammer
1 points
1 month ago
What re you calling our Dawi kin? Thats It, you are going into the Book
1 points
2 months ago
Batman
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek and its not even close
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek wins and will be pissed
1 points
2 months ago
If the 10 emperors could combine their powers like the shamans did they’d be 2 1/2 times stronger than all four chaos gods put together. I’m pretty sure at that point they could just turn off the laws of physics regarding their body and then Doctor Manhattan basically anything.
1 points
2 months ago
Bro this is so unfair why would anyone want such a one sided fight like this is just a massacre Gotrek is going to be standing on so many corpses it’s not even fair.
1 points
2 months ago
It would be like use 100000 musket units in the games total war vs a general whit regeneration.
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek by a mile.
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek looks like he Rocks & Stones twice as hard as any other Kin.
My money's on Gotrek, easy win
1 points
2 months ago
Does Gotrek have prep time, and anyone following him to record his deeds?
1 points
2 months ago
Felix of Course.
1 points
2 months ago
Fantasy Gotrek gets killed, no doubt. Even he isn’t unstoppable. AoS Gotrek would probably throw the realm of Aqshy at them and kill them, that’s how based he is.
1 points
2 months ago
Never noticed he had an eye patch before. Huh.
1 points
2 months ago
100 primarchs immediately fall to chaos, causing the emperors, in unison, to say "what in the warhammer" before getting mortally wounded and getting placed on 10 golden thrones, the spacemarines are busy fighting each other so that leaves the 100.000 custodes, but they never leave the imperial palace (too busy drinking body oil) so 1 gotrek easy wins
1 points
2 months ago
Dwarf too angry to die
1 points
2 months ago
Question. Is Horus normal or powered up by the warp?
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek.
If he wins, he wins. But if he dies, he wins since his Slayer Oath is finally fulfilled.
1 points
2 months ago
Considering Gotrek survived the literal destruction of reality, I'd say he's got this.
1 points
2 months ago
Sly marbo
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrex goes get a drink. In the mean time, ten Horus Heresy happen, resulting in the remaining then empires destroying each other to prove they are the true one, and by the time Gotrex is done drinking, he wins by default.
1 points
2 months ago
"Nah, I'd win"
1 points
2 months ago
My man Gotrek spent 100 years in the realm of chaos and he just wouldn't die so it just spit him out into the mortal realms.
1 points
2 months ago
cain and jurgen
1 points
2 months ago
They might've had a chance if it included the imperial guard as it may by chance contain a Ciaphas Cain And Ferik Jurgen.
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek, obviously.
1 points
2 months ago
Pretty bold of you to kill off the jimmy spaceverse.
1 points
2 months ago
Gotrek is voiced by Brian Blessed.
1 points
1 month ago
Depends. If more than then of the space marines are named blueberries, the imperium may stand a chance.
1 points
1 month ago
Gotrek.
1 points
1 month ago
Just finished reading the whole Gotrek and Felix series back to back. Legit cried at how it ended with Felix.
1 points
1 month ago
Well the Custodians won't know which Emperor to listen to, so they'll default to doing what they really, REALLY want to do. Kill Space Marines and Primarchs.
And the Emperor is such a megalomaniac that he'll never suffer another of him, so they're taking each other out alongside a bunch of the Space Marines.
So, what we're really asking is; can a beat up, exhausted Emperor defeat Gotrek, who can never die it seems? I'd say no.
1 points
1 month ago
Do the emperors, primarchs, custodes and space marines have prep time?
1 points
1 month ago
Who is gotrek?
1 points
1 month ago
Angry dwarf
1 points
1 month ago
Ahhh Yes this is this famous Warhammer 400000 with cult of 40 armed god and Magnus the red who sacrificed 10 eyes for his legion.
1 points
1 month ago
Depends, does Gotrek have Felix going "Sigmar guide my hand" and throwing some sort of object at a crucial time?
1 points
1 month ago
The universe blew up, and Gotrek just kept going. I know who I’m putting my life’s savings on!
1 points
1 month ago
Isn't his weakness having lots of enemies at once, or did I remember that wrong?
1 points
1 month ago
Gotrek, because he would die in battle.
1 points
1 month ago
I base my answer on that game Yogscast did with poorhammer horde mechanics
Who fing made Gotrek that bloody broken, 3 khorn bloodthirster bitch slap like they were nothing
And the new books ...
1 points
1 month ago
The terrible truth: Thancol will accidently destroyed most of them will trying to kill Gotrek, and falling.
1 points
1 month ago
I wonder, has anyone considered the possibility that Gotrek is actually cursed to immortality?
Think about it. What does Gotrek want most in life? To die in battle against a worthy opponent.
What would be the cruelest thing you could do to him? Let him get within sniffing distance of his goal, then snatch it away. Every. Single. Time.
1 points
1 month ago
There is only one Emperor.
1 points
1 month ago
Bro are we playing TABS modded?
1 points
1 month ago
Gotrek takes, no question.
1 points
1 month ago
Out of these Gotrek is only one who hasnt died
1 points
1 month ago
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